After I recently became a bridesmaid for the first time, it made me seriously consider who I would want to have in my own wedding party. Am I obligated to ask my friend who just had me in her bridal party? Must I include my siblings or my fiance’s siblings? What if I really want to include my longtime best guy-friend in my bridal party? In this day in age, it is hard to determine whether we should go the traditional route to please our family or if we should venture on to create our own tradition. It can be difficult to create the wedding of your dreams when you have pressure from your family or even from societal norms, trying to dictate what can and cannot be done in YOUR wedding. When it comes to the formality of choosing your bridal party, I think there are certain aspects that are worth considering before asking your friends and family to be a part of your special day.
The Golden Rule: If you take nothing away from this article, remember that once you ask someone to be in your wedding party, you cannot rescind the invitation without committing a serious faux paus. Asking someone to be present at your wedding, especially as a part of your party is showing that person that you respect their presence in your life and that you would be honored to have them included in perhaps the most special day of your life. By asking the person and then taking away the offer, you will most likely offend them and risk ruining your relationship. To avoid this, take the time to carefully select those that will be included in the wedding.
The Perfect Bridesmaid
The perfect bridesmaid depends on the type of bride you are. If you know that you are a hands-on type of gal who will need help crafting her dozens of centerpieces, then you are going to want to choose responsible, enthusiastic, and truly committed friends who are able to help you throughout the wedding planning process. On the other hand, if all you have to do as a bride is show-up at the end of the aisle with your dress, then you can relax and just invite your regular girl squad. Ever heard the popular idiom, “always a bridesmaid, never a bride?” I interpret the saying to mean that as a bridesmaid, you are second best to the bride. Thus, you should make sure to pick your friends and family who don’t create drama, have steadily supported you and your fiance, and who will be attentive and respectful of your wishes. I would also advise you to carefully think about inviting ladies; who you have not connected with since high school or college, who your spouse or other groomsmen does not like, or who have highly opinionated or overbearing personalities. Always remember this day is not about having equal numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen on both sides, it is a celebration with all your closest friends and family. You’ll want to look back on the pictures with fondness for your friends not regret over having chosen the wrong people.
Tip 1: Consider the financial commitment you are asking
So you have decided upon the perfect group of women that will surround you on your wedding day. Great work! Now let’s turn to the nitty-gritty details. Weddings not only cost you, the bride and groom, money but also your friends and family. While some people in the wedding party may be financially stable, others may have less money to spend on the bridesmaid dress, hair, and makeup, nails, the bachelorette party, bridal shower and wedding gifts. For example, some of your best friends could still be in college, have just bought a house, or are locked into other situations that make it hard for them to drop money for your big day. To avoid making anyone feel left out, choose dresses that you feel are in the middle of everyone’s price range. If you simply must have those chiffon, floor-length gowns then compromise and offer to pay for everyone to get their hair, makeup, and nails done. Consider skipping the bridal shower and only ask for gifts on your wedding day that you and your significant other can use to build your home. No matter how you work it, just make sure you are willing to compromise with your squad so that everyone can share in your happiness on the day of.
Tip 2: It’s your wedding, there are no rules!
Happy Wedding Day!
Marisa – JWE Blogger
